I didn’t come up with the phrase “awfulsome” though I wish I would have. The first time I heard this phrase was in New York Magazine describing some of the lyrics in Katy Perry’s new album “Teenage Dream”. The term “awfulsome” is supposed to be a mashup of “awful” and “awesome” at the same time.

After reading the lyrics, I agree or “agreefulsome” (which I did just make up) with the NY Times.

From the song “Firework” is the following lyric, “If you only knew what the future holds / After a hurricane comes a rainbow” which may be the poster child for sappy and silly writing.

Then from the song, “Peacock” is this disaster, “Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock? / Don’t be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bee-yotch.”

The song goes onto say, “I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock” which is both clever and nauseating at the same time.

I am self nominating this album for my list of worst music lyrics just on general principals. Teenage Dream is an extreme meme that doesn’t seem to have a theme and makes me scream for vanishing cream. Cya!

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Kanye West is being sued over the lyrics to his mega hit song “Stronger”. The lawsuit also has some teeth to it.

According to the lawsuit, West had access to the original lyrics. A man named John Monopoly who doesn’t own either Boardwalk or Park Place was West’s business manager and received copies of the Stronger lyrics from Vincent Peters, of Leesburg, Virginia who recorded a song called “Stronger” in 2006.

When reviewing the lyrics, they are not identical but close enough to make one wonder whether the allegations are indeed true.

Chicago Breaking Business quotes Peters as saying, “Peters said his song included ‘What don’t kill me make me stronger,’ while West’s says ‘That don’t kill me can only make me stronger,’ the suit said. Another example, Peters alleges, is ‘couldn’t wait no longer,’ while West says, ‘I can’t wait much longer.’”

Both songs make reference to supermodel Kate Moss which also is very suspicious. The last piece of evidence is that both songs use the word “wronger” which is also an unusual word not used often in common language or lyrics.

As Ricky Ricardo from “I Love Lucy” may say, “You got some splainin’ to do.”

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Now, as a songwriter or lyricist you may have been scammed at one time or know someone who has by those famous words, “Set your poems to music”. There are a wide variety of companies that prey on budding lyricists saying they will take their words and put a Top 40 composition with them and all parties will make millions.

Well, oddly enough singer and songwriter Natalie Merchant has done this but in a different way, and the way she has done this has been very successful. Merchant’s new Leave Your Sleep album is a collection of 26 historical poems from around the world written by others.

Natalie Merchant found these poems, set her own music to them and then recorded her album plus work on an accompanying booklet. It was a little more complicated than this, though, having vast resources at the star’s disposal. According to this article, “I had three research assistants just finding information about the poets, because some of them were so obscure. I had a copyright researcher, and I had two lawyers doing clearances and a picture researcher. That was my team.”

Of course, if you’re a composer in need of lyrics, this could be an avenue that you, too can explore. You’ll most likely have to do your own legwork as you probably don’t have a “team” such as Natalie Merchant has. Then again, there may be some lyrical gems waiting out there ready to be snatched up.

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After Justin Bieber’s appearance last night on American Idol it has been leaked that the “Baby Face in Space” promotion will happen sometime early next year. Music phenom Justin Bieber has teamed up with Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic space tourism company, to not only take a space flight into low earth orbit and experience several minutes of weightlessness but to also sing the lyrics to his latest album “My World 2.0” on American Idol.

Burt Rutan, the developer of the spacecraft is against the idea. He is quoted as saying, “I am against the idea.” He also goes onto say, “Sending a 16-year-old into space is like sending a donkey to the Kentucky Derby. You’re setting yourself up for failure.” But Branson thinks otherwise, “Sending the hot Bieber into space will not only propel his career into outer space but will launch our spacecraft, the VSS Enterprise, to the demographic that we are looking for which is rich, teenage thrill seekers.”

About the Justin Bieber lyrics he will be singing in space the young star is taking it in stride saying, “This is just another April fool’s joke, you know. No one is going anywhere.”

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Okay, some lyrics are bad and make you scratch your head and wonder what the artist was thinking at the time. And then there are the worst music lyrics that are right up there with Sock Puppet Olympics or Rodeo on Ice as far as just plain bad ideas.

Since I put up a page on the main website about the worst music lyrics, I’ve gotten a few emails. Here is one I would like to share that is from Kim W.

“I think these two songs, whose bad lyrics have been stuck in my head since the 70′s, need to make the Worst Lyrics list:

“Paul McCartney, Live and Let Die: “But in this ever-changing world in which we live in”. Seriously. He got the preposition placement right. . . and then he blew it anyway. Duh.

“Styx, Come Sail Away: “On board I’m the captain, so climb aboard”. Can you say redundant?

“Thanks for considering my submission.”

Yes, I agree and I feel a hairball coming up right now.

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Over the weekend I received an email from Kris a budding lyricist who wants to find more resources online but doesn’t know where to start. Kris says, “I enjoy writing poems/lyrics but am at loss at where to begin to get them out in the public. I do not write the music, just the words, at this point in time. Is any one able to give me some advice on how to get my foot in the door?”

Even though the Internet has more resources for musicians, bands and others interested in the business of music, there are some resources for lyricists if you know where to look. For instance there is the Songwriters Resource Network which has a section for lyricists only and a section where lyricists can make connections with other songwriters, musicians, artists and producers.

Another resource is Song Lyricist which features news and articles about writing lyrics plus a connections section where lyricists, songwriters and composers can meet. Now, if you’d like to talk more freely in a message board format then there are a couple of resources for lyricists that are fairly active.

A message board called Songwriter Forums has a section just for lyricists to share with others, receive feedback on their lyrics and help others with the craft. And the last resource I’d like to talk about is a section of the Writers Block Forums that also has a section for lyricists only.

Of course, these aren’t the only lyric writer’s hangouts online, but these will get any budding lyricist started. Hope you get an education from these resources and come back and post a comment of what you’ve learned.

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Whether its politics or pocketbooks musical artists sometimes decide to change their song lyrics to be less offensive. Three cases in point come to mind including out with the old Bush, in with the new Obama and let’s just say Britney’s back in the news.

Broadway musical Avenue Q has been poking fun at George W. Bush since 2003 and now that he’s out of office, the Q is wondering just what to do? The answer is hold a contest to see who can come up with a new set of lyrics for the play.

Rapper will.i.am is a fan of Obama an in order to pay tribute to the new President, he is willing to fudge his lyrics just a bit. According to Hot Air, lyrics linking the CIA to terrorists (first written under the Bush leadership) will now change at least for a little while as a tribute to Obama.

And, of course, Britney’s back in the news and on the charts, but one of her songs is being given the silent treatment by radio stations everywhere. In order to gain the much appreciated, and financially lucrative air time, Britney has to take the F-word out of her lyrics one on of the tracks from her Circus album.

Changing song lyrics is nothing new and the motivations are many. Pocketbooks and politics are usually the top two reasons for the change.

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On New Year’s Eve, many at midnight will be singing the words or botching the words to “Auld Lang Syne.” This Scottish song is thought to have been written by Robert Burns in 1788.

As 2008 turns into 2009, the huge ball in Times Square of New York City will be fitted with thousands of LED lights and will stay up year around. This is the perfect time to grab a cup of hot coca and sing Auld Lang Syne to whomever is around you.

Auld Lang Syne Lyrics

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I’ll be mine,
And we’ll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne

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Let me put on my Carnac the Magnificent thinking cap for a moment and make a few American Idol predictions. This year’s American Idol predictions may be a bit tougher than years past because the competition is arguably the best yet. But, since I’ve already thrown Kristy Lee Cook into the pot as well as Carly Smithson, let’s delve into a few other possibilities.

For the women, other formidable forces as witnessed last night include the amiable Alaina Whitaker, rockin’ nurse Amanda Overmyer, the luscious Alexandrea Lushington, the effervescent Asia’h Epperson, the little mouse who roared Ramiele Malubay and the “yes” girl Syesha Mercado.

My picks from last night’s competition are the little mouse who roared and rockin’ nurse to go to the finals (of course, Carly could possibly kick either one of these to the curb as well). Kristy Lee Cook has had her ups and down, and though she’s babalicious she had another off night due to the flu.

American Idol predictions for the men, include the dauntingly daring David Archuleta, Aussie ass-man Michael Johns and delightfully demonstrative Danny Noriega. In what could come down to the young lions against the old, expect David Archuleta to battle Michael Johns in the finals.

Of course, as we all know, anything can and will happen so these American Idol predictions need to be taken with a grain of salt. And, of course when the final two are announced, hindsight will be clearer than foresight, so sit tight and enjoy the singing fight in the weeks and months to come.

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The Janet Jackson Discipline album is due out February 26, 2008 and provides a fresh take on fantasy and eroticism. With masochistic overtones and a heavily digitized sound, the Discipline recording will put many good Janet slaves in their place.

The title song, “Discipline,” which is the 20th track on the album, shows off Janet as a bit of an erotic fembot who may just make someone’s day on the BDSM scene. In the song “Luv” Janet Jackson compares falling in love to a car wreck, with the same shock and surprise as one who’s been broadsided.

The Luv lyrics say, “I can’t believe the way you wrecked into my heart / I think I should sue ya.” But, Jackson also carries on the Discipline motif and imagery when she sings, “I had the right of way / I saw the sign you disobeyed.” Perhaps some bad boy needs a spanking about now?

The song “Rock Wit U,” not to be confused with the Alicia Keys song of the same name is a sensual track of a similar theme to the Keys endeavor. Janet’s Rock Wit U has a decidedly techno feel and sexual overtones that let her purr the words to the lover in her song.

On first listen “Feedback” may be a bit confusing as there is a double meaning to the word. The Feedback lyrics say, “So here’s my demonstration / A peep show /Tonight my body’s an exhibition baby.” But, then Jackson goes onto clarify that Feedback is also a musical term that singers and bands will be familiar with when she sings, “Strum me like a guitar blow out my amplifier / When you hear some feedback keep going take it higher.”

Janet Jackson Discipline Tracks

1. I.D. (Interlude)
2. Feedback
3. LUV
4. Spinnin (Interlude)
5. Rollercoaster
6. Bathroom Break (Interlude)
7. Rock With U
8. 2nite
9. Can’t B Good
10. 4 Words (Interlude)
11. Never Letchu Go
12. Truth Or Dare (Interlude)
13. Greatest X
14. Good Morning Janet (Interlude)
15. So Much Betta
16. Play Selection (Interlude)
17. The 1 feat. Missy Elliott
18. What’s Ur Name
19. The Meaning (Interlude)
20. Discipline
21. Back (Interlude)
22. Curtains

When I listened to Discipline and watched the video I had to wonder how many fans will be screaming for a wardrobe malfunction (and of course a little whip action). There is a good video also that shows snippets of songs from the entire Discipline album. Now, go watch and listen or else you will be severely punished.

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